nut free nerd

“I became unsure of how to leave the mirror, how to leave the me in the mirror behind.”

Fuyuko Irie is a freelance copy editor in her mid-thirties. Working and living alone in a city where it is not easy to form new relationships, she has little regular contact with anyone other than her editor, Hijiri, a woman of the same age but with a very different disposition. When Fuyuko stops one day on a Tokyo street and notices her reflection in a storefront window, what she sees is a drab, awkward, and spiritless woman who has lacked the strength to change her life and decides to do something about it.

As the long overdue change occurs, however, painful episodes from Fuyuko’s past surface and her behavior slips further and further beyond the pale. All the Lovers in the Night is acute and insightful, entertaining and engaging; it will make readers laugh, and it will make them cry, but it will also remind them, as only the best books do, that sometimes the pain is worth it.

Synopsis from Storygraph.com

I cried while reading this book more than any other book I’ve read. I was basically crying — full on tears streaming down my face, hiccuping crying — for the last third of it, and some of the middle.

I would describe this book as 3 a.m. thoughts on paper — all those worries and fears and worst case scenarios that play out when we wake up in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep. More than anything, this novel captures the pain of loneliness. The “twist” in this novel is heartbreaking. I felt the main character’s pain so distinctly. And while no character in this novel is one hundred percent likable, I found that that didn’t detract from my hope that it would all work out okay for them.

Kawakami’s writing (and that of the translators) is stunning, and so readable in the sense that you don’t want to stop turning the pages. I read the bulk of this book in one sitting, curled up with a blanket and desperately hoping that the main character would find some happiness, or at least contentment. Months after reading this novel, I still find myself thinking about it here and there. It’s one that really sticks with you.

All the Lovers in the Night is ephemeral and hazy and painful and beautiful, a book that both encourages you to see others and helps you to feel seen. Highly, highly recommend (although a heads up to check the trigger warnings first!).

Any other books by Mieko Kawakami that I should read? I’d love to know.

Take care xx